1 Kings 17: You Never Know

   This is from a previous week, but I haven't written about that week and I don't have anything else to write about this week, so here we are.

   I love chapter 17 of 1 Kings. It wasn't covered in any of my religious studies classes in college (even the Old Testament survey) nor  at any church event that I can recall. I think this was my first time reading it. And I love it. It is such a great reminder to me of how God can provide for people while using that very same provision to do a great work in the world. And we just never know when that old widow could be one of us.

   The widow had no food for herself or her family. She had a little bit of olive oil and a little bit of flour and she was preparing to make that the last meal for her and her son before they died of starvation. But God had other plans.

 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’” 

She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.

   Through this, Elijah was sustained until called to move on to God's next task for him, the woman and her son were sustained throughout the drought, and this family was able to see God through Elijah's healing of the son. How cool is that? I think it's pretty cool.

   It reminds me of these lyrics:

Keep your eyes open

Where you roam

 Because you never know

When your life's about to change

   This is so true. All of it. You never know when you're going to be called to something incredible. You may not totally recognize it at first, and just be grateful for some sustenance in a dire situation, but at any moment the Lord can revolutionize your understanding of Him and your understanding of your role in this world and in his great plan.

   Keep you eyes open and persevere when things seem unclear.

 

My Confession

   So I haven’t written in two weeks, and there's a reason for that. I’m going to tell you that reason, and in that this post is going to be a bit of a confession.
  

  I just had a roughly two-week long anxiety attack. Things are not going well at work, and a very close friend of mine had a bit of a..... “spat”, with me. Now, these should be meaningless, insignificant events in the timeline of my life on Earth, but they were magnified by about a thousand these past two weeks.
    This is where the confession comes in:
    For the first time in three and a half years (that’s how long I’ve truly been walking with The Lord. I told you. I’m a baby.) my faith was shaken. Altered, even. See for a while now, my daily reading has been exclusively of the Old Testament and Revelation. If you’re not familiar, these books are a tad different than the New Testament. I’ve read the N.T. in and out, particularly the Pauline Epistles, but I’ve always purposely avoided Revelation because, literally, I was afraid. And I just never read the Old testament (outside of Bible study or anything that isn’t necessarily voluntary) because, honestly, it’s boring (or so I thought). Also it’s not exactly an “easy read”.
    SO. This time after I finished Jude (the last book in the N.T.), I thought, “Ok Ariel. You’re ready. Read Revelation ya sissy.” And you know what? It did exactly what I thought it would! It freaked me out! That, coupled with God in the O.T. telling the Israelites not to eat yeast and to make all this stuff in gold and yada yada..... all of a sudden I found myself saying, “God? Are you someone else? Are you NOT who I thought you were?” And I freaked. Out. Without my rock, my foundation, I no longer could handle minute earthly concerns like a scuffle with a best friend or a stressful work environment. Those things can’t faze you when your mind is set on the eternal, but when your eternity suddenly seems altered, nothing is bearable. With Him anything is possible. Without Him, nothing is.
"'If you can?' said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for him who believes.'"
Mark 9:23
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

  So, I began to self-medicate. I took bubble baths and went on runs (if you know me, you know this is serious. No one hates running more than I do). I smoked cigars and drank my favorite wine (not in excess. I’m not advocating alcoholism!), and although it was all comforting, it was also all temporary. Fleeting. And then, after the first week, I met with Courtney. We went for coffee, and I told her everything. Guess what?? She had had a terrible week too! But neither of us had reached out. We just played the lonely game and tried to drown in our own tears. The second week (though still difficult) was exceedingly easier because of Courtney. She listened to me, prayed with me, and most importantly, encouraged me in the faith. It wasn’t until I took the “self” out of my of my medication and replaced it with.... what’s that term Christians like so much?.... COMMUNITY.... that I was able to finally catch my breath. God gave me Courtney for a very specific reason, and I’m forever grateful for her.
"How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
Romans 10:15 (Every inch of Court is beautiful!)
"Instead be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs."
Ephesians 5:18

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another."
Hebrews 10:25
   

   To sum up my very long story, I’m better now. I’m not where I was before these two weeks, but I don’t think I’m going to return there. I think that our Father is taking me on a new path in our walk. That’s what he does. We are not meant to step onto a stone in the path and remain there-stagnant. We are always growing, always changing in the faith, becoming more like Him and less like us, praise God. I now know that God is not a different God in those books. But He does have very many attributes, and I’m only just beginning to learn what they are. He is revealing Himself to me, and I will stand firmly in my faith with open eyes and an eager heart.
"The apostles said to The Lord, 'Increase our faith!'"
Luke 17:5
 


   God is a God of peace and order. I am a girl of chaos and anarchy. God is faithful. I am not. And I find immense peace in that. For, to quote my beloved Winnie-the-Poo, “I am a bear of very little brain.” I’m so glad to know my Savior is not. And He loves me anyway.
"If we are faithless, He will remain faithful!"
2Timothy 2:13
"But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God."
2Corinthians 1:9
"Therefore we do not lose heart!"
2Corinthians 4:16
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
James 1:2
"The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."
2Peter 3:9

Prodigal

   I think I finally get the story of the Prodigal Son.

   You're probably thinking . . . how does one not get the story of the Prodigal Son? Well, I've been wondering that for years.

   I'm sure you know the story. There's a dad and two brothers. One brother is the kind of kid you'd think every parent would dream of - super responsible, always getting things done, follows all the rules. And then there's the other brother who doesn't really care about that stuff. He leaves the family to go off on his own, the dad gets upset, the son comes back, the dad is overjoyed and has a big celebration. The responsible brother then gets all upset because the dad never celebrated him. The moral of the story is supposed to be that dads (namely, our Heavenly Father) have unconditional love for their children and that the older brother was no better than the younger brother.

   Here's what I've always thought about it: I understood that the older brother was supposed to represent a person trying to obtain salvation through works alone. I understood that he thought he was better than his brother for what he had done, and this was wrong. And I understood that it was wrong for him to be jealous of the celebration for his brother coming home. But I felt for the older brother.  I thought that it was no wonder that the older brother was upset, clearly the father didn't love him as much as the younger brother. Here the dad was throwing this huge feast for the younger brother and the story never mentions any kind of love poured out onto the older brother. I'd be upset!

   So, I always sort of thought the story was flawed, but it seemed like everyone else was so willing to accept it that I must be wrong. Maybe we were supposed to assume that the father had thrown parties for the older son before? And that the older son was just jealous because he didn't think the younger brother deserved them as much as he did? But I don't like to assume things.

   On Sunday I think I finally understood. It's not that the father didn't love the older son, but that the older son wasn't accepting the father's love. The son asks, "Why don't you celebrate me?" and the father says, "Everything I have is yours." The father wanted to share everything with the older son, including his love, but the older son just wanted something superficial - like a party. The son performed a bunch of superficial gestures to earn his father's love, all the while never really loving his father, and then he wanted superficial rewards in return. 

   "Everything I have is yours" is what our Heavenly Father tells each and every one of us. Do we just want a big party thrown in our honor instead of his love? Do we want him to give us a big house or an expensive car or a family or a prestigious job so that we can love those things instead of God? Do we want to do a thousand good deeds in his name so that people will believe certain things about us? Do we choose to believe in God's existence and do only what we feel we have to in order to procure life after death?

   That doesn't seem right, does it?

   I know that a lot of people think it's hokey or cult-like or whatever to pursue "a relationship" with God, as opposed to just belief and reverence. But it's not. This parable is Biblical and it's proof that there is more to being a Christian than just what we think we can get out of that title. It is about a relationship - a genuine, loving relationship.

   The Father wants to share his love with his older children, but we have to be willing to accept it for that to work.
   
   
- Courtney

(Sorry this isn't about the Old Testament . . .)