Huh.
Dangit.
Aww maaan.
Just thought I'd fill ya'll in on what went through my head after I heard this phrase. Hopefully the same ones don't go through yours. Let me start from the beginning...
Once upon a time (actually about three months ago), I was sitting in a room with a bunch of awesome, God-fearing women. One of them told us all this phrase: God plus blank equals enough. She followed it with "What's ya'lls blank?". Instantly, without a second to spare, my head-voice (you know. The one that's in your head. Not the bad one. Just your head-voice. Ya feel me?) shouted out "HUSBAND!". Quickly after this came the words from above: Huh... Dangit....... Awww maaan!
There should be nothing there, right?! My blank should BE blank! It should be A blank! But, ever since I can remember, I have dreamt of being married. I am a hopeless romantic, and have massive dreams about what my husband will be like and how we'll live together. Soo.... not being married is literally not anything I have ever considered.
Dear children, keep yourselves from idols1John 5:21 (You best believe a husband has been one of my idols for a loong time)
The night my friend told me about this phrase, I was dating someone. Well..... dating is a light term here. I was with who I thought to be my soulmate. He and I talked very often about marriage, and even had plans for it. After I considered what my blank was, I became terrified about losing him because I knew I shouldn't need a man to be content. Sure enough, a week later he broke up with me. Shattered my heart is really a better way to put it.
Please don't misunderstand me. I don't believe that God separated us because he wanted to teach me a lesson. I think the guy was just an idiotic moron. Just kidding.... Really.
Moving on......
I've been pondering and praying about this phrase ever since. Is it wrong that I want a husband? Of course not. It is a God-given desire, and is absolutely justifiable and right. Wanting, nay, needing, a husband in order to feel fulfilled in life is what is unjustifiable. My contentment, as I have learned, is fully in the Lord. I believe that the Lord has given me desires and dreams for a reason and that He is faithful and will honor them. BUT, if I live the rest of my life single, I will forever remain joyful, sustained, and content.
For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances Philippians 4:11 (I should note that this was written by the guy who sat in prison for his beliefs and was beaten to a pulp countless times.... and he was single while he did all of it)
Be joyful always
1Thessalonians 5:16
But godliness with contentment is great gain
2Timothy 6:6
Thing is, I am not the only person to have a word in that blank. Words that I've seen in it are "money", "a big house", "a nice car", "a successful job"...... most of it revolves around materialism, obviously. We are in America, and this is a blog about Christians in America, after all. Actually it's about Americans who are Christian, but more on that later. My point is, our focus is on the wrong point. Our eyes should be on Christ and His Kingdom, but too often they are on things (inanimate things, mind you) on this earth. Pursuing money, marriage, success.... all of it will fade away. God never changes, never leaves, never forsakes. That boy I dated let me down and broke all the promises he made to me. God, in His mind-blowingly beautiful faithfulness and kindness, has kept every single promise He's made to me. He is with me every day, He loves me unconditionally, He fights for me (literally to the death!), and He never changes His mind! God is so. Good. Of COURSE I can find my contentment in Him! God + ____ really DOES = Enough!!!
God has said "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you"Hebrews 13:5
If we are faithless, He will remain faithful
2Timothy 2:13
What's your blank? Do you disagree and think it's ok to have a blank? All opinions are welcome :) So long as they are presented in kindness, maturity, and love!
Thanks for reading about my blank. I love you!
Ariel
As a girl who constantly checks the left hand of any attractive man I come in contact with (Okay, or just see walking by... no contact necessary) & who spent 45 minutes last night pinning engagement rings with no potential suitor to pop the question anytime soon... this post totally and completely defines my blank.
ReplyDeleteIt's something I very often struggle with--the desire for a companion--and I absolutely know it has always been and always will be an idol I must battle. This is why I'm so intrigued by your mention of "falling in love with Jesus." I love Jesus--don't get me wrong--but I long and thirst to know the captivating love so many of my friends seem to feel tangibly. Is something wrong with me? How am I missing this?
Meaghan! Let's make one, humangus, vital thing clear: There is NOTHING wrong with you!! You are hilarious, witty, intelligent, clever, kind, loving, and beautiful! Now that we've gotten that taken care of....
ReplyDeleteI understand your hunger girl. It's overwhelming! I don't have answers for you as to why you've yet to feel it; that answer is held by God, and He almost always has super confusing ways about Him. But that's also one of His beauties :)
What I can tell you, is that I have been praying for you, and I feel without a doubt that it's coming. Jesus is in love with you Meaghan. That is without debate. When you will feel it and be consumed with it, is a question left open for His (what seems to us as odd) timing.
Thanks for commenting and sharing. I feel better knowing I'm not alone in this struggle! I hope you do too, and that you know how loved you are (by God AND by both Courtney and me....along with a million others) and how precious you are. I love you sweet friend!
Ariel
I read this and thought most of the way through, "Man,I am frickin happy I don't have a blank." Thought about that for a second or two. Yeah, I do. A lot.lol I've never considered not being married, not having kids, not being successful, not making enough money to support my family, not being an amazing and well-suited father figure, not being a loving and "prince charming" of a husband, and most of all by far, I have a need to be accepted and thought highly of by others.
ReplyDeleteAriel, Tonight was the first time I read this post. Your honesty shows such humility. It takes a lot to admit what your idol is in a public venue. I, too, struggled with being single for many years. I desired to find "the one." When I truly "let go," focused my life on "The ONE and Only," His plan for me, and being joyful about being single, God gave me the opportunity to meet a wonderful man who loved the Lord! Thank you for sharing the "God + ____= Enough." I love you!
ReplyDelete