1 Kings 17: You Never Know

   This is from a previous week, but I haven't written about that week and I don't have anything else to write about this week, so here we are.

   I love chapter 17 of 1 Kings. It wasn't covered in any of my religious studies classes in college (even the Old Testament survey) nor  at any church event that I can recall. I think this was my first time reading it. And I love it. It is such a great reminder to me of how God can provide for people while using that very same provision to do a great work in the world. And we just never know when that old widow could be one of us.

   The widow had no food for herself or her family. She had a little bit of olive oil and a little bit of flour and she was preparing to make that the last meal for her and her son before they died of starvation. But God had other plans.

 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’” 

She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.

   Through this, Elijah was sustained until called to move on to God's next task for him, the woman and her son were sustained throughout the drought, and this family was able to see God through Elijah's healing of the son. How cool is that? I think it's pretty cool.

   It reminds me of these lyrics:

Keep your eyes open

Where you roam

 Because you never know

When your life's about to change

   This is so true. All of it. You never know when you're going to be called to something incredible. You may not totally recognize it at first, and just be grateful for some sustenance in a dire situation, but at any moment the Lord can revolutionize your understanding of Him and your understanding of your role in this world and in his great plan.

   Keep you eyes open and persevere when things seem unclear.

 

My Confession

   So I haven’t written in two weeks, and there's a reason for that. I’m going to tell you that reason, and in that this post is going to be a bit of a confession.
  

  I just had a roughly two-week long anxiety attack. Things are not going well at work, and a very close friend of mine had a bit of a..... “spat”, with me. Now, these should be meaningless, insignificant events in the timeline of my life on Earth, but they were magnified by about a thousand these past two weeks.
    This is where the confession comes in:
    For the first time in three and a half years (that’s how long I’ve truly been walking with The Lord. I told you. I’m a baby.) my faith was shaken. Altered, even. See for a while now, my daily reading has been exclusively of the Old Testament and Revelation. If you’re not familiar, these books are a tad different than the New Testament. I’ve read the N.T. in and out, particularly the Pauline Epistles, but I’ve always purposely avoided Revelation because, literally, I was afraid. And I just never read the Old testament (outside of Bible study or anything that isn’t necessarily voluntary) because, honestly, it’s boring (or so I thought). Also it’s not exactly an “easy read”.
    SO. This time after I finished Jude (the last book in the N.T.), I thought, “Ok Ariel. You’re ready. Read Revelation ya sissy.” And you know what? It did exactly what I thought it would! It freaked me out! That, coupled with God in the O.T. telling the Israelites not to eat yeast and to make all this stuff in gold and yada yada..... all of a sudden I found myself saying, “God? Are you someone else? Are you NOT who I thought you were?” And I freaked. Out. Without my rock, my foundation, I no longer could handle minute earthly concerns like a scuffle with a best friend or a stressful work environment. Those things can’t faze you when your mind is set on the eternal, but when your eternity suddenly seems altered, nothing is bearable. With Him anything is possible. Without Him, nothing is.
"'If you can?' said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for him who believes.'"
Mark 9:23
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

  So, I began to self-medicate. I took bubble baths and went on runs (if you know me, you know this is serious. No one hates running more than I do). I smoked cigars and drank my favorite wine (not in excess. I’m not advocating alcoholism!), and although it was all comforting, it was also all temporary. Fleeting. And then, after the first week, I met with Courtney. We went for coffee, and I told her everything. Guess what?? She had had a terrible week too! But neither of us had reached out. We just played the lonely game and tried to drown in our own tears. The second week (though still difficult) was exceedingly easier because of Courtney. She listened to me, prayed with me, and most importantly, encouraged me in the faith. It wasn’t until I took the “self” out of my of my medication and replaced it with.... what’s that term Christians like so much?.... COMMUNITY.... that I was able to finally catch my breath. God gave me Courtney for a very specific reason, and I’m forever grateful for her.
"How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
Romans 10:15 (Every inch of Court is beautiful!)
"Instead be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs."
Ephesians 5:18

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another."
Hebrews 10:25
   

   To sum up my very long story, I’m better now. I’m not where I was before these two weeks, but I don’t think I’m going to return there. I think that our Father is taking me on a new path in our walk. That’s what he does. We are not meant to step onto a stone in the path and remain there-stagnant. We are always growing, always changing in the faith, becoming more like Him and less like us, praise God. I now know that God is not a different God in those books. But He does have very many attributes, and I’m only just beginning to learn what they are. He is revealing Himself to me, and I will stand firmly in my faith with open eyes and an eager heart.
"The apostles said to The Lord, 'Increase our faith!'"
Luke 17:5
 


   God is a God of peace and order. I am a girl of chaos and anarchy. God is faithful. I am not. And I find immense peace in that. For, to quote my beloved Winnie-the-Poo, “I am a bear of very little brain.” I’m so glad to know my Savior is not. And He loves me anyway.
"If we are faithless, He will remain faithful!"
2Timothy 2:13
"But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God."
2Corinthians 1:9
"Therefore we do not lose heart!"
2Corinthians 4:16
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
James 1:2
"The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."
2Peter 3:9

Prodigal

   I think I finally get the story of the Prodigal Son.

   You're probably thinking . . . how does one not get the story of the Prodigal Son? Well, I've been wondering that for years.

   I'm sure you know the story. There's a dad and two brothers. One brother is the kind of kid you'd think every parent would dream of - super responsible, always getting things done, follows all the rules. And then there's the other brother who doesn't really care about that stuff. He leaves the family to go off on his own, the dad gets upset, the son comes back, the dad is overjoyed and has a big celebration. The responsible brother then gets all upset because the dad never celebrated him. The moral of the story is supposed to be that dads (namely, our Heavenly Father) have unconditional love for their children and that the older brother was no better than the younger brother.

   Here's what I've always thought about it: I understood that the older brother was supposed to represent a person trying to obtain salvation through works alone. I understood that he thought he was better than his brother for what he had done, and this was wrong. And I understood that it was wrong for him to be jealous of the celebration for his brother coming home. But I felt for the older brother.  I thought that it was no wonder that the older brother was upset, clearly the father didn't love him as much as the younger brother. Here the dad was throwing this huge feast for the younger brother and the story never mentions any kind of love poured out onto the older brother. I'd be upset!

   So, I always sort of thought the story was flawed, but it seemed like everyone else was so willing to accept it that I must be wrong. Maybe we were supposed to assume that the father had thrown parties for the older son before? And that the older son was just jealous because he didn't think the younger brother deserved them as much as he did? But I don't like to assume things.

   On Sunday I think I finally understood. It's not that the father didn't love the older son, but that the older son wasn't accepting the father's love. The son asks, "Why don't you celebrate me?" and the father says, "Everything I have is yours." The father wanted to share everything with the older son, including his love, but the older son just wanted something superficial - like a party. The son performed a bunch of superficial gestures to earn his father's love, all the while never really loving his father, and then he wanted superficial rewards in return. 

   "Everything I have is yours" is what our Heavenly Father tells each and every one of us. Do we just want a big party thrown in our honor instead of his love? Do we want him to give us a big house or an expensive car or a family or a prestigious job so that we can love those things instead of God? Do we want to do a thousand good deeds in his name so that people will believe certain things about us? Do we choose to believe in God's existence and do only what we feel we have to in order to procure life after death?

   That doesn't seem right, does it?

   I know that a lot of people think it's hokey or cult-like or whatever to pursue "a relationship" with God, as opposed to just belief and reverence. But it's not. This parable is Biblical and it's proof that there is more to being a Christian than just what we think we can get out of that title. It is about a relationship - a genuine, loving relationship.

   The Father wants to share his love with his older children, but we have to be willing to accept it for that to work.
   
   
- Courtney

(Sorry this isn't about the Old Testament . . .)

Prior Hiatus

   Ariel is awesome, but I bet you guys already knew that. Awesome Ariel - that's how I like to think of her. One reason she's so awesome is that she's been the sole poster here for the past month and with nothing but love and grace for me throughout. That's why she's my best friend. Are you jealous? You should be.

   I'm sorry. I hate breaking commitments, and if nothing else I had committed to posting about the Old Testament each week. I'm afraid I'm terribly behind on that. The last piece I wrote was about Exodus and here we are this week on Joshua and Judges. I'm sorry. I'll have the next Old Testament post up next week because I haven't actually started this week's reading yet (whoops!). And here is something else in the meantime.

   Our friend Meaghan went to a conference in Austin back at the beginning of March. After talking with her, these have been some of my thoughts:

Being missional doesn't come from wanting to make non-believers a project. It doesn't come even from wanting to follow the Biblical mandate to "go to the nations". It comes from a love for people. It comes from having your life changed and wanting others to experience the same thing. It comes from being so filled with love that you're overflowing with it and want to share it. It comes from seeing broken people and wanting to walk alongside them.

That's what Jesus did.

When we love and serve them genuinely because we want to, not because we're wanting to check off some religious boxes, that's when people want to know how and why. That's when they see who God is and want to find that in their own lives.

That's how Jesus did it.

He loved and served and healed and spent quality time with people. He didn't drop a bunch of church-y words and make people uncomfortable by telling them how much they needed him before they even knew who he was and what he was all about. Jesus isn't physically here anymore to do miracles and stuff for people. He reveals himself through us. Through our actions and relationships. Through the love that we have for other people.

Happy Easter everyone!
Courtney

Eternally Minded

"Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things"

Colossians 3:2

I cannot even begin to explain the transformations God has been doing in my life. I just read over an old post from January, BEST METAPHOR YET, and realized just how ridiculously far the Father has taken me in such a short time. Things happening in my life at that time that I once considered “concerns” no longer even take up a single second of my time. There is a very real and distinct reason why: PRAYER. God. Is. Faithful, friends.

"If we are faithless, He will remain faithful"

2 Timothy 2:13

The prayer that Daddy has answered the strongest is this: “Father, help me to be more eternally minded. Turn my eyes to the Kingdom and off of this fleeting and flesh-satisfying world.” O booooooy has he answered it! Where do I begin.......

This is what Jesus has revealed to me, and if nothing else, this is what I wish to be revealed to ALL of His children: this place, this world, is not our home. STOP. Don’t read anymore. Well, finish this paragraph and then stop reading. Step away, and let that sink in. I mean really sink in. This. Is. Not. Our. Home.

I once heard a pastor put it like this: “For believers, Earth is the worst it’s going to get.” Do you understand what that means?? We are on a journey, with a very finite and fantastic goal waiting at the end, and that goal will last for eternity. Forever. We. Will. Not. Die! We will be with Daddy forever! We will be with our Saviour and Lord FOREVER! So why does it matter to us when our car isn’t as nice as we would like it?! Why does it matter that we don’t have that particular scarf we’ve been eyeing, or that cute boyfriend, or that well-paying job?? It doesn't! It doesn’t matter!! Earth is wonderful. It’s truly a gift. Don’t get me wrong. To enjoy the beauty and joys that our o so sweet Father has put here for us is beyond understandable, albeit a must! BUT, we must realize that “wanting” stuff here to the point where it distracts us from the goal is a waste of our time and journey.

"You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

James 4:14

"But one thing I do [consider]: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

Philippians 3:13-14

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith"

Hebrews 12:2

Allow me to help a bit. A few months ago, my main worries (mind you, worry is sin friends) were “What the heck am I doing with my life?”, “I can’t wait until God sends me a great guy”, “How can I feel prettier?” (side note: God made EVERYONE beautiful. Accept it. Move on. Do not obsess over it.) and a bunch of other garbage that was focused on “success” in this world. But God has shown me, because I asked Him and He is faithful and NOT because of anything I did on my own, that the cares of this world are going to become so miniscule and irrelevant when I am standing in the throne-room of my beloved King. Does this make sense?? I will die! I will leave this planet! BUT I will never leave our Lord. So why do I care if I have those things and junk and stuff that only distract me from what really matters:  pursuing the Father, loving His children, and spreading His word and light. I get it folks. I finally get it. And I am OBSESSED with Him!!!! He has literally transformed, renewed, washed, and sculpted me. And He is DYING to do it to you! Heck He DID die so He could do it to you!!! So I ask that you would pray for this revelation today. Because when He opens up those eyes of yours and shows you the tiniest fragment of a glimpse of what He’s got in store after this short pilgrimage of yours, you’ll become obsessed too!!

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance"

Hebrews 11:13

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace."

2 Timothy 2:22

"People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction"

1 Timothy 6:9

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness"

Ephesians 4:22

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind"

Romans 12:2

I love you always!

Ariel

An Encountering

This is what I think. I think so many “Christians”, so many who claim the title but not the shame and suffering that comes with it, do so because they haven’t had something. They haven’t encountered Christ. They haven’t encountered His love. And I think without that, without encountering Christ and His unfathomable, unrelenting, awe-inspiring, head-tilting and jaw-dropping love, we are just swimming around in a pool without water, on the verge of drowning to death.

I know so, so many people who tell me they are Christians. And what they, and the rest of our society, (and at one point I) have done is watered down the name. The title of “Christian” is an all out honor. It is an HONOR to say that I follow Him.    
"How GREAT is the love the Father has LAVISHED on us, that we should be called children of God!" 1John 3:1


         But so many of us don’t get it!! We don’t GRASP what it is that the Gospel IS! It is a love story guys!! It’s the story of a man, who created children that turned around and spat on and denied Him. But He yearned to spend time with them so badly that He became one of them and let them KILL Him!!! JUST to be able to be with us guys!!! But we’re not getting it!! America isn’t getting it!! So these “Christians” walk around, and they tell people what (when it should be who) they are. They proclaim the self-righteous title of “Christian” so that others will think that they are a “good person”. They act like it’s cool, like it’s easy, like “God will never give you more than you can handle” and “It’s ok. God’s in control” and “Let me tell you other cliche loads of bologna that I don’t even understand so that IIII can make you feel better. By the way, did I mention I’m a Christian?” It’s not easy guys! Time and again we are promised trials and tribulations. We are not promised that He won’t “give us more than we can handle”. We are promised that when that comes, and it will, we will not be alone. If we can’t handle it, and there will be times when we can’t, then God, our Great Redeemer, our sweet and loving Father, our Alpha and Omega, our Good Shepard, then He will sweep us up in His never-weary arms and carry us the rest of the way. I want so badly for everyone to grasp this. To ENCOUNTER Him!!!! He is REAL guys!!!! God is REAL!!! Don’t water down His name. Don’t throw around the name of His followers as though it’s a merit-badge that will gain you credit just as long as you leave it at surface level. Allow Him to invade the darkest depths of your soul. He’s already there, but He actually wants your permission to explore, transform, mold, and love. And once you encounter Him. Once you allow and receive and invite Him in entirely, you will never, ever, be the same again. That’s one of my favorite of His promises.
I love you, but not near as much as God does.
Ariel

Come Near to God and He Will Come Near to You

    Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with what Daddy’s teaching me. But among it all, almost every day I feel Him whisper “Come near to me, Ariel, and I will come near to you.” And He has. God has actually come near to me. I feel Him guys. I want so badly for you to know this. I want you to know it so you can feel Him too. He’s standing there, holding out His arms that never tire, waiting. He’s not impatient. He’s not angry. He’s not disappointed. He’s just. waiting. But the first part of His sentence says “Come near to me.” We have to walk into Him, into His presence, into His embrace, in order to experience Him and His power and love. Reading His word, talking to Him (some may refer to this as prayer), living as He desires, pursuing Him and not the fleeting crap that this world has to offer.... all of this is a gift He has given us so that we can know the Creator that hand-sculpted us into this beautiful creature that we are. He literally yearns for us. GOD. YEARNS. FOR. US. Sometimes I almost can’t take it in! He wants me? He wants to spend time with a foolish girl who’s ignored and denied Him for so long and lived solely for herself? YES! YES HE DOES! And it’s not just me guys!! This is how God feels about every single one of His children. Do you hear me? Do you hear Him? He wants you! He doesn’t want you to clean up your act. He’ll take care of that. He just wants to hear your voice turn it’s tune to His waiting ears. He want’s you to turn those beautiful piercing eyes on His unfading beauty. He wants to show you that YOU are beautiful! HE WANTS YOU! He doesn’t care what you’ve done or said or thought. God wants you. Sooo badly that He wrapped himself up in flesh, came down to this mad-house, nursed as a baby, bled like a man, and was murdered in one of the most horrific ways man has ever designed, just so that you would notice Him and come to Him. Do you understand how much you are loved? Do you understand how precious and beautiful and wonderful you are to Him? To the Father who dyed your hair, painted your eyes, fit your fingers and toes, and stitched up every loose seam. He’s in love. He’s in love with you. He’ll forgive you. He’ll make you promises and never, ever, ever break them. He’ll hold you every single time you ask Him to. He’ll swipe those tears away. He’ll kiss you and love you the way you’ve always yearned for. But you have to walk to Him. He gave us this will, because He didn’t want robots walking around His planet chanting insincere “I love you’s” without a burning raging fire within their deepest pits. He wants us to understand His depth and His love, so that we may reciprocate it. So reciprocate it. You won’t be perfect. You’ll mess up. I promise you’ll make mistakes. But the thing about God is, He’s standing all around you so that no matter what direction you fall towards, He’s going to catch you and kiss you and encourage you so your fall will be shorter next time. God is crazy for loving me this much, but He does, and it’s the best part of everything. The best part of my day, the best part of breathing, the best part of everything: No matter what I do, where I go, how far I fall, He loves me. He wants me. I am wanted. I am loved. I am forgiven. And so are you. Run into Him! RUN!!!

James 4:8

Faith Alive: Episode #2

   Well, this was actually from January (though to be fair it was the very end of January, and it's now the very beginning of March) and we're just now getting it posted.

   Enjoy!

(sorry for that unflattering little still frame)

The Standard of Beauty

 This is something I think about constantly. What IS the standard of beauty, WHO establishes it, WHY do we even have one?! And when it comes down to it, what is my standard? Where do I find my own beauty, and how do I embrace it? As a 23 year old woman living in the U.S., this is not. easy.

What I continue to find, is that there is no reason why it shouldn't be easy. The reason it isn't is because of the society we live in, and our failure to prioritize correctly the values we hold in our lives. My number one priority is my relationship with Christ. Without it, and without Him, I am nothing. I can't focus, I can't achieve any semblance of a task, and I hate everything. But when I am grounded in Him, and spend my time with the Savior, I find myself feeling a whole swarm of things: joy primarily, peace amidst chaos, love, warmth, and even.... beautiful. So here I go.

Here in the U.S., we believe beauty is......

A symmetrical face, perky pouty lips, tan skin, highlighted hair, and, most importantly, a very thin and toned body. Here's reality.......

A menagerie of sizes, shapes, and colors. Personally, I find this faar more beautiful than our culturally-concocted stereotype of what beauty looks like. God did not make us all tall, thin, and tan. He made us so extremely different. But the fact that we've created this idea that there is a box within which beauty remains tears women down on a daily, nay, hourly basis. Myself included. What I am continuing to learn, however, is that America does not define beauty. Nor does Victoria's Secret, nor the women in my life, nor even the guys I date. My beauty is defined by God and God alone. And the most beautiful thing in women, I feel, is not outward. The most beautiful thing in women, I feel, is the fact that every single one of them, of us, is different. Courtney is quiet and brilliant, our friend Sanni is loving and vibrant, my sister is hilarious and kind, my mother is full of life and song and love. Every woman in my life is entirely different from the others, and it's the most beautiful thing I can think of. And most importantly, Christ dwells within each and every one of them. Christ's inexplicable beauty and majesty shines so brightly through them that they are astoundingly and breathtakingly beautiful. 

The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord.

Psalm 45:11

So this is what I've learned. The Lord does not make ugly things. He makes incredibly beautiful things, and it is not our job to define that beauty. He already has. What we need to do is discover our beauty, accept it, embrace it, thank God for it, and let it shine. We need to not compare ourselves constantly to other women, because we are not them and we are not going to be them and there is a fantastic reason for that. God made me Ariel. No one else can be Ariel, and that is a wonderful thing. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

My prayer is that you will know how beautiful and precious you are. That you will see Christ's light and magnificence within you. I pray you won't allow this society to determine your beauty and value for you. Beauty means something entirely different in other countries, it meant something entirely different one hundred years ago, and it will mean something entirely different in one hundred more years. But there is one definition that is lasting and permanent. There is one who will always find you breathtakingly beautiful, and He is the one you can always find solace, serenity, and warmth in. Turn your face to our Savior when you want to be told you're beautiful. His answer will forever be: 

"All beautiful you are my darling. There is no flaw in you" 

Song of Songs 4:7

I love you and your beauty

Ariel

Marine Mindset

Well 'sup. I'm not Ariel or Courtney. I'm Ariel's younger brother Travis. I'm not really into the whole flashy, photo implementing, all over the place style like she is, so yeah. So, God kinda threw it in me to write this, and to write it about exactly what it's going to be about, and for you. And by you, I mean YOU! As in specifically, 100% you. Not the person I saw today while walking outside, or who I went to work with. It applies to them, but this is for YOU. Whether or not I know you. One of my favorite musicians, Aaron Weiss of mewithoutyou, told a story. “A farmer once had a horse. One day it ran away and when he told the neighbor, the neighbor retorted with 'Oh, that's terrible!' But the farmer said 'Who knows what's good and what's bad?' and remained content. The next day, the horse returned with a herd of horses. The neighbor said 'That's fantastic!' Again, the farmer responded with 'Who knows what's good and what's bad?' The next day the farmer’s son was out riding a horse and broke his leg. Again, the neighbor was sad over the misfortune, however the farmer, still, said 'Who knows what's good and what's bad?' and remained content. The next day, the military came with a draft, however due to the boys broken leg, they were unable to enlist him. As always, the farmer remained content.”

Everybody's had struggles in life. Every single stinkin person. Some worse than others, but never make the assumption that what you're going through has never happened before, that no one else has had it as bad as you, or that you're going through it alone. If you're anything like me, at some point every single one of those thoughts has passed through your mind. There are plenty of instances in the Bible where God places his disciples and other people in some of the hardest and most trying struggles imaginable, and He helped them every step of the way and even gave plenty of them GREAT rewards afterward. The best instance that comes to mind is Joseph. His brothers tried to kill him, he was thrown in jail even though he did nothing wrong, and after staying completely faithful to God, became the ruler of Egypt. Huh. Kinda did a 180 there.

 <<(Me saying goodbye to Ariel before I leave to for SOI in California)

“Joseph's master took him and put him in prison...But...the LORD was with him...and gave him success in whatever he did.”

Genesis 39:20-21,23 October 12(the date this was preached on in my devotional)

A few months ago I went through the toughest 2 months I have ever endured in my entire life: School of Infantry for the Marines. Beyond the hikes, the training, and the sleep deprivation, people didn't exactly answer my faith and Christian lifestyle with open minds. That last part was easily, and surprisingly the hardest part. Though they said they were Christians (who am I to judge, though) they made jokes about it that affected me more than they thought, and didn't exactly make my faith feel welcome. At one point, they even told me they hated me for wanting to go to church, throwing in a couple more cuss words, as well as telling me to perform some not so possible or favorable acts to myself. It just so happens, however, that immediately before I went to SOI (School of Infantry) my wonderful sister, Ariel, gave me one of the greatest gifts I have ever received: a Devotional with a passage for every day of the year that goes in depth on each. Through it, God has spoken to me more than I ever thought possible. I can't help but feel like that book was made for me. Without it, I would never have made it through SOI. I read it every single night, and almost every night's passage was about God helping us through turmoil. God was telling me every single day, as I was dying physically and losing all motivation, that He was with me, that He loved me, that He knew what I was going through, and that I would grow in faith from it. Always, always, always telling me, “Travis, keep your head high, show your faith with pride, and know that I am carrying you every step of the way, and with Me in your heart you will NEVER fall, and never experience more than you can endure.” 

“He guarded him...like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on it pinions. The LORD alone led him; no foreign god was with him.” Deuteronomy 32:10-12 September 30.

I was constantly called a bible-thumping Christian, and at first I thought “heck, no!!” and took it as an insult. Turns out, the heck it is?! I WANT to have a resounding faith, and to be known as “that God obsessed Christian” in the group, because I am!! He carried me through SOI, meeting me halfway so that I'd have to work, and test my faith, and every day He reminded me that He's doing this for reasons unknown. On top of the fact that, in the end, my faith will become that much stronger (which it has) and I'll want to pursue Him that much more. So of course I love Him, and I want people to know that! I can't imagine what SOI would've been like without that devotional. I did my best to keep God in my heart, and my faith is twice what it was before I left.

So what I want, is for you to take that last sentence from the paragraph before last, the one where God spoke to me, and replace my name with yours. Because what He did with me, He WILL do with YOU! He's just that amazing, and loves you that much. Awesome, isn't it? Don't ever think for a second that He's not working with you, or that what you're going through is too much. I can tell you from first hand experience, NO. No. No. No. No. Whether you need this now or later, everyone needs to know this. I'll probably have to come back and read this at some point to remind myself.

God will test you, and He will put you through trials, and you will wonder where He is. Tell “lucy”(you know who that is) to “SHUT THE FRICK UP!!” and know that God is your Father, teaching you to ride a bike. You'll fall and get bruises and all that good stuff, but as long as you know God's with you, He'll pick you up, smile with pride as fathers do, and you'll become one of the best bike riders in the neighborhood. God loves you, and will absolutely, 100%, positively, no matter what, forsake you. Please, don't ever forget that.

Travis

“It was good for me to be afflicted.”

Psalm 119:71 October 1

“Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of His servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.”

Isaiah 50:10 October 7

“...dying, and yet we live on.
2 Corinthians 6:9 October 11

 

“Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave.”
1 Kings 8:56 October 23

 

    Yeah, just a couple of the AWESOME things from this book!!!

     And one of my favorite quotes from it...

 

“Said the Robin to the Sparrow
'I should really like to know

Why these anxious human beings

Rush about and worry so.'
Said the Sparrow to the Robin
'Friend, I think that it must be

That they have no Heavenly Father

Such as cares for you and me.”

A Testimony: Courtney

   When I began writing this I dubbed myself, “an Isaac.”

   I wasn’t sure what to write, wasn’t sure that I really even had a story to tell at all. I heard this sermon a couple of years ago about how everyone is either an Abraham (a person of great faith), an Isaac (an average guy), or a Jacob (black sheep, prodigal son, that sort of person). I was an Isaac and the important thing was (as the purpose of the sermon preached) that I was content with my story, and therefore the life that God has gifted me. The day I finished my first draft of this post, I had three separate encounters that led me to see the perspective of three friends of mine on my life and journey of faith. I guess now I’m not so sure that I am an Isaac. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. 

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   Most testimonies that I’ve ever heard or read are fashioned a lot like a story. There is a beginning, building action, the big climactic event of distress, the turning point, and a happy ending with Jesus. But I’ll be honest from the get-go  –  mine isn’t like that. I know that people say you’re not “born a Christian,” and maybe they’re right. But I can’t honestly remember a time when I didn’t believe and desire to follow the basic facets of Christianity.

   I was born into a family that went to church regularly, always provided me with a Bible, and encouraged me to pray daily. I gave my life to Christ and was baptized when I was nine years old, and I understood what all of that meant. I knew that I sinned, that I needed to be forgiven, and that Jesus gave his life so that I could be. I revered and worshiped God for that.

   My progression as a Christian was a very steady thing. As I aged and matured, I gained a deeper understanding of what it meant to truly follow Jesus and of the significance of His death and resurrection. Although at one point my family stopped encouraging me in the spiritual ways that they had in my youth, it was the first time that I saw (through hindsight) that it was me who wanted these things, not just my family wanting them for me. I asked to go to church, I prayed on my own time, I read the Bible to myself. It was no longer a family activity with parental support, but something individual and personal.

   I never experienced that one, epiphanous moment that many have – the moment when everything clicked into place. There were many individual moments drawing me closer to the Lord. Like a yo-yo I would be pulled in and then I would let myself back out. But no matter how many times I rolled down that string, the Lord was always there to bring me back up. And the falls have been shorter and shorter every time. 

     I’ve mostly struggled with the same root problems for as long as I can remember. Depression has been one of the worst, and simultaneously one of the best. It sucked, and it still sucks on days that it gathers strength inside of me again, but it has served a great purpose. So I’ve learned to welcome the trial for what I can gain from it.

   My first serious bout of depression was . . . well, middle school in its entirety. For a lot of reasons. So I went to therapy and took anti-depressants and placed bandaids over a thousand wounds that would never heal without stitches. My counselor was great, and I appreciate everything that she did for me, but ultimately her help was only enough to keep me from bleeding out until I could make it to the hospital. The problem was – I didn’t know I needed to go there, and neither did anyone else. So I learned how to change the bandages myself and kept moving forward, bleeding slowly but surely.

   The first truly divine experience that I can recall clearly occurred when I was in 8^th grade. We were doing this thing at youth group called SLAP – sing loudly and praise (or maybe it was pray?). It was the first time I actually felt the presence of God. And now that I’m trying to type this out I’m realizing that there aren’t even words to describe it. It’s electrifying, but in a gentle way. Powerful yet soft. Like this one huge juxtaposition – infinite righteousness, grace, and love dwelling in sin, rejection, and misery by choice. An incredible kind of love.  

   A few years later I was in a tough spot and nothing seemed to be able to help me. All the stuff I thought I had dealt with had actually been slowly simmering in the background and I watched as it began to boil at full force. My closest friends were all leaving me for college, a boy had left me heartbroken, changes were happening in my family dynamic that were uncomfortable. I felt alone. The depression I didn’t realize I was still struggling with resurfaced. I felt abandoned. I felt used. I felt belittled. I felt lost. I felt inadequate. I felt jealous. I felt embarrassed. I felt dead inside.

   
   Giving it all to God was not something that I had been familiar with at that point. Knowing that “Jesus saves me” doesn’t always translate to “I can lay every single pain and struggle I have on the cross”. But with the help of a book called The Shack, many conversations with my best friend’s mother,  and realizing for the first time that God would (I knew he could do anything) speak directly and personally to me through other people, I was able to realize that I was okay. That I would be okay. That Jesus could unlock me from the mental torture chamber I had created for myself.

   It has been a very slow process of healing, and something I honestly think I’ll wrestle with for the rest of my life. I discovered how much I was loved and accepted in Christ. I began to understand that I was worth something no matter what anyone else said or did to me. I started to see that the Lord would always provide for me (if not in the way I expected or thought I wanted). But that didn’t mean that my life was then after sinless, easy, and void of a depressive mentality. Not a bit. 

   It was a constant battle to remember and apply those things, as well as new ones that I came upon. I’ve had my fair share of really bad mistakes and running in the complete opposite direction from God. And I’ve had to learn painfully and slowly that even though Jesus could break the chains every time I bound myself with them, a lot of the time he would give me the key and sit with me until I unlocked myself. 

   BUT I had found something that worked. Something that really, truly, long-term worked in 1) improving my quality of life and 2) displaying God's love. Through all of this and some other things along the way, I developed a passion for Christ-centered counseling. Because I truly believe that it works. I’ve seen my life, and the lives of many people around me, receive healing transformation in Jesus. Depression, anxiety, relationship problems, alcoholism, sexual problems, abuse, addiction, mourning – these are the things I’ve seen God’s love heal. The Gospel is where we can go and lay our burdens to rest, and in return we are comforted and set free. 

These experiences have sparked a desire in me to share this kind of therapy with anyone who wants to listen, anyone who wants to try something new when nothing else is working, and in anyone who knows that this is the way but doesn’t know how to get there. If you’re interested in hearing more, for any reason, feel free to respond in the comments below, or send us a private Facebook message or email. I would love to chat with you about it! 

-Courtney

When God Puts Me In Check

  As noted in our "about" section, I work for the elderly.

    You should know that I love it.

  So I take one of my clients to church on Sundays. We go to the church he's gone to for the 10 years that he's lived here. It is an incredibly traditional church, which I am no longer accustomed to. Growing up my parents loved them, but I personally haven't gone to one in over 10 years. Just tend to gravitate to the more contemporary style. Nothing wrong with either preference.
   You should know, however, that I tend to be incredibly arrogant and somewhat pompous. Here were my thoughts upon first entering this less than 100 member church that doesn't use musical instruments when worshiping and singing hymns:

• These people must be legalistic and pious
• This church will not teach me anything or help me grow in my faith
• I'm going to hate this

   And this is how I imagine God reacted to my over-sized head:

"Ima put that girl in CHECK"

   Here's the thing: when I worship, I dance and hop and shout and (guaranteed every time) cry. This church is not the place for any of that (well, minus the crying). So the Lord pulled down this giant projector screen in my me-filled brain and displayed in bright lights and giant letters,

"You REALLY mean to tell me that you can't worship me without guitars and drums and hopping all over the place Ariel? You mean to tell me you can't worship me solely with the voice IIII gave you?"

So, I piped down, took a seat, and said, "Sorrrryyyyyy", to which God of course said,

"It's ok baby. Happens all the time."

"So God, you obviously know better than anyone, seeing as how you made me and all, how to teach me things. Will you teach me how to worship you here? Will you help me look past the prejudices I hold, and feel your presence here?" And, of course, God replied,

"Shyooooot girl. I thought you'd never ask! Buckle yo seatbelt!!"

(God talks to me like this sometimes)

So now, I would like to make for you some new bullet points of what I found out about this church. I realized these bullet points quite literally upon my first day there with my client, and they have only been reinforced more and more every day I've gone since:

• The people at this church are more the example of what a Christian family, community, and church should be than any other I have ever seen
• I have learned and grown from this church IMMENSELY 
• I. Love. Going there.

The people there are so entirely consumed with love for one another and for Christ. They ALL welcome me by name, check constantly on my client to make sure he's doing well, pray for one another, support one another, and strive to live for Christ. These people are some of the most beautiful people I have ever met.

Now, about the worship. Boooooy has the Lord proved me wrong!!! So this church sings purely hymns and they sing them purely a cappella. When this church sings, it is one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. Sometimes I don't even sing just so I can listen to the pure resonance of beauty filling the room.  This past Sunday was pure awe-inspiring. I have no words to explain to you the magic that was cast in that chapel that day. I cried the whole time and was filled to bursting with the Spirit of the Father. And I knew at that moment that God had responded to my prayers. I had known for a while at that point that God was teaching me through that church, that He was with me while I sang to Him, and that my heart was growing for those people, but it was during that morning that I knew I was completely worshiping without instruments, without dancing, without hopping and shouting. I'm not saying those are things we should not use or do when praising. But what I learned is that I can worship and praise and glorify quietly also, with just the strings God tuned so delicately within my throat.

As always, I love you

Ariel

Exodus 21-40: Sabbath

   Everyone needs a little rest. According to the Bible, 1/7 of our waking time should be restful.

   The Sabbath is something that has been on my mind a lot this week. I heard a sermon once about how the Sabbath is . . . well, a real thing. It's a Biblical directive that we should allot time for resting. Just like we should honor our father and mother and not murder people and have no other gods or idols. I think it's interesting how we ascribe so much importance to the 10 commandments . . . and then kind of ignore that whole Sabbath thing. Or maybe I'm wrong in thinking a lot of other people besides myself don't consider that commandment as being of equal importance to the rest. 

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   Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all of your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. Exodus 20:8-11

   Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work, so that your ox and your donkey may rest, and so that the slave born in your household and the foreigner living among you may be refreshed. Exodus 23:10-12 

   You must observe my Sabbaths. This will be a sign between me and you for the generations to come, so you may know that I am the Lord, who makes you holy. Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you.  Exodus 31:13-17

   The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Mark 2:27

   There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest. Hebrews 4:9-11
           

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   My thoughts on the meaning of the Sabbath: It doesn't have to be Sunday; I think the importance is an exchange of 6 days work for 1 day rest. What constitutes "work" and "rest" is probably different for everyone; resting doesn't have to mean sitting in a chair and staring at the wall all day . . . but I guess maybe it could for some people. Keeping the Sabbath "holy" seems to mean that worship or some kind of intimate time spent with the Lord is involved. 

   These are the problems I have with it:

A. I don't get enough stuff done in the other 6 days of the week, so the 7th day is for overflow.

1. What am I saying? That the world just ends if I don't do all of these things I feel like I have to do? That my influence and impact in those things is that important? Thinking through it makes me feel a little arrogant and a lot that I'm just kind of forgetting that God runs the show. Clearly he thinks 6 days of work is sufficient, so why am I trying to say otherwise? 
2. Why am I not getting enough done in those first 6 days? Am I not managing my time well? Am I wasting time with frivolous or pointless things? Do I have too much on my plate? Am I over committed and overextended? Are my priorities in line? Doing a lot of stuff or trying to be super-wife or super-achiever is cool, but realistically I have a finite amount of resources and time. 

B. What do I even find restful?

• Okay, that sounds weird. But I've been noticing that things I thought were relaxing aren't doing it for me anymore, if they ever did in the first place. 
• I spend all week in go-mode, and then I don't know how to stop or I feel weird stopping. OR I spend all week resenting go-mode and end up having empty days - no work, no rest. It's kind of dumb, isn't it? I want to rest, so I stop working but don't rest? I mean, come on Court, really? 
• I anticipate the next day or even the next week a lot. So I spend my free day thinking and planning and analyzing and scheduling. That is not restful. 

   So . . . what am I going to do about this?

   I don't know.


   Step 1: Get my husband on board. It's helpful to have an accountability buddy in stuff like this. Also, it would probably be good for him to expect that I won't be doing much on Saturdays (my Sabbath day). 
   Step 2: Try not to do any work on Saturday if at all possible. Clean and study and run errands and write serious things and all that kind of stuff on the first 6 days. In the future, avoid making commitments that require me to do things I consider "work" 7 days a week. 
   Step 3: Experiment with things that seem potentially restful.
   Step 4: Prayerfully adjust. In fact, prayerfully do the previous three steps because I have no idea what I'm doing here. 

   
   Thoughts? Suggestions? 

~ Court

American What?

   

 Seems lately every time I turn around I hear someone talking about this; the Christian American. Whenever they tell me their definition of such a person and the negative connotation they associate with it, I always say, “I know! That’s why Court and I have this blog!” We’re not trying to chastise, or correct, or pass judgement on anyone. On the contrary, I've been quite the definition of this myself many a time. What our goal here, essentially, is to understand how, as Americans, we are to live our Christ-centered lives. 

The question I found myself asking, well, myself, before we started this endeavor was, “Am I an American Christian, or a Christian American?” (Note in these two titles appear to be an adjective and a noun, respectfully.) SO, do I identify as an American woman who practices Christianity, i.e. a Christian American, or do I find my identity in something else? Yes, I’m proud to be an American. The fundamentals this country was founded on are beautiful, and I am incredibly blessed to live in a country where I can even write this blog freely and unafraid. BUT, my identity goes much further than where I place my citizenship. My identity, and praise God for it, is found just there, within the heart of God. I am a Christian, a woman sold out to God, who will do anything for Him, and who happens to live in America. I am an American Christian.

What I feel, and what I’m finding others are noticing, is that “Christian Americans” believe in Jesus, and know who He is, and go to church sometimes, and basically live “good” lives, so that’s that. Content. Nothing more to do. Let’s not talk about our beliefs for fear of ruffling any feathers, and let’s not care what others believe because it’s their life and their choice. To better deal with that, let’s not really believe in hell, so that we don’t feel so bad when we realize so many around us just might be headed straight there because of what they believe. Again, this will offend, so let’s just believe that as long as you live a basically good life, God will cut you a break. Nevermind what His Word says. That’s what we’re going to believe. While we’re at it, let’s delve into sin (just the light-hearted stuff. We’re not doing the bad stuff, like killing or stealing), and seize the day. Carpe diem! It’s harmless right?

“JESUS answered, ‘It is written: Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.’”
Luke 4:8

But here are the facts. To live as Christ called us to live is literally the hardest thing we can do. It’s not rainbows and sunshine and “It’s all good. Jesus LOVES you! So keep on doing what you’re doing!”

                                                   It’s.             Hard.

He must be above everything else. He must be our first and true love. He must be our greatest desire. We’re going to be called “Jesus freaks” and “Bible thumpers” in this society. What I’m learning, however, is that compared to what Jesus’ disciples went through (ahem, MARTYRDOM), being called a “Bible thumping weirdo” really isn't all that bad. So WHY do we make it out to be??

“Then JESUS replied, ‘Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.’”
Matthew 22:37-38
“And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple”
Luke 14:27
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”
Colossians 3:23

Todays challenge: Meditate on this. Sit, be quiet, and ask yourself, “Am I a Christian, or an American? Do I love God enough to go the distance?” Don’t be discouraged if the answer is no. Mine was no for the VAST majority of my life. Sometimes it still is. The fact is, being a Christian is tough. It’s really really tough. But the beauty of that fact is this: We don’t have to do it alone. We will NEVER have to do it alone. He saved you. He loves you. He wants to hang out with you!! Not just see you every now and then on Sunday and hear from you when times are tough. He literally wants to hang out with you. His creation. His bride. His beloved. The more that sinks in, the more we soak and marinate and bask in His love and promise and truth, then the easier it will get. Come near to Him. He’ll come near to you. That, my friends, is a promise.

James 4:8

I love you always

Ariel